"Out of the Answer"

I haven't written anything in while.  It's not that I haven't been inspired, just that there's been a lot going on.  My name came up on the waiting list for a wheelchair accessible apartment in Los Angeles.  I went out there to check it out, it was absolutely beautiful.  Moving out there would mean I'd have to reapply for attendant care which would take at least five months, so I'd be totally at the mercy of whoever I'd meet out there that could help me take care of myself and my apartment for free???  My family and all my friends are here on the east coast, I hate the snow and I hate the feeling like I'm not going anywhere with my life. I feel trapped most days and I'm still worried about staying in Fairhill (Philadelphia HUD/projects), its not even the fires or creepy dude waiting to jump me outside my door but from the anxiety and depression on top of my medical problems. Been trying to get out more at night and do open mics, and figure out my life with planning and organization.  Just thinking about the whole situation I wrote this tonight:

Janiceps

Took our first steps

And fell

Like acrobats and nymphs

going down acronyms

Tired islands

getting enough

rest

to look

their best

I

don’t need

To be

happy

To live this way

It’s out of the answer

I’ll let you stay

Testa my tester

Makes me say

Yes sir

It's hurry

I’m blurried

Like pre-cards

And tail dimes

Dying to be supine

Landing a plan

I

don’t need

To be

happy

To live this way

It’s out of the answer

I’ll let you stay

(Photo by: Kiki)